i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
