he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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