rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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