Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
