***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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