he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
