I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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