At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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