someone get that fucking seahorse.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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