Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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