I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
