just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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