Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
