Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
