hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
