Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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