Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
