you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
