If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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