i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think my vagina is haunted
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
