I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
