I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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