I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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