C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
