If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize