At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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