she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize