My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude i'm inner monologue high
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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