Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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