soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
