i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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