Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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