so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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