Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
