dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I made him laugh his dick is mine
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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