At least make sure they are 18
Why
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
