Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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