do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
