Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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