I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
