also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
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he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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