What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
