Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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