Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
