wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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