He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
