His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
