Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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