she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize