wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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