Already got asked if we're dating
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
