I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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