Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize