It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
