I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
