Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
