This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
