Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
