She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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