....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
