He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
