East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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